Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Blessed Ones

These girls are beautiful. Vietnamese. Cambodian. Raven hair, olive eyes. From eight years old to mid-teens. Spunky, graceful, delicate. Each one glowing from the inside out. These girls are the most loving, the most adoring girls I’ve ever met. Twenty-five of them, beaming, hugging, grabbing my hands and nestling their sweet faces under my arms. Exhausting every English word they know to ask us questions, giggling and offering to teach me words in Khmer. Their joy is magnetic. These girls are full of life, energy, excitement, hope.

These girls are survivors of brutal sex crimes. Some were rescued from trafficking, where adults sold their tiny bodies daily to the highest bidder. Some were auctioned by their parents to locals who believe sex with a virgin can shield a man from HIV. Others lived in homes where mom, desperate for extra income, allowed ravenous men to visit them and their sisters regularly.

These girls were the victims of rape. And not “rape,” as the director explained to us carefully, but “RAPE.” Violent, malicious, horrifying, all-capitalized rape. I feel nauseous now as the thought sweeps my mind. Several will never have children, their insides have been so brutally maimed.

Adults took the lives, the bodies, the spirits of these innocent girls and exploited them. Today, vendors along the streets sell cheap dvd’s of horrendous child pornography – some displaying these very children. The experience of the girls is disseminated through communities like poison. Cambodians watch the videos in their open shanties, and the whole family sees. The children see. The neighbors see. And the fathers decide to try what they saw. Another child. The cycle is poison.

I can’t express the rage, the heartbreak, I feel at the thought of what men could do to these beautiful girls. It wrenches me, beyond what I’ve ever experienced, to comprehend the human capacity for evil.

And all the while, hope. These girls now have light in their eyes. One once described her life as that of the lotus flower. It grows out of dirty water, a dark and painful past. But it grows through it, out into the light. Its stalk is sturdy, strong; and the flower blossoms grand with color and beauty.

The girls, glittering in silken costumes and elegant up-dos, performed a dance for us that represented this transformation. They began, poised with innocence as the lotus, and were slowly broken down by snakes and snails. Only to be comforted and brought together again by the saving fish, until they blossomed tall once more. At the end of the performance, the director asked a volunteer to tell us what the dance meant. A girl stood with confidence, and the eyes of her and her friends filled with tears as she relayed the metaphor in her native Khmer.

The director then asked me to respond on behalf of our visiting group. I stood before these young girls who’d just displayed their pain and their lives before us, and struggled to express the life-long impact their expression would have on each one of us. As their instructor translated, I told them why we’d come. Why we wanted the rest of the world to know their stories and their hope.

I’ve never felt loved quite so fully and immediately, as we headed to ice cream afterwards. I was hugged again and again by these adoring girls, each looking half a decade younger than their age. I sat at a table with four of them wanting to know my favorite color, if I was married, if they could walk around the supermarket with me. They spoke barely any English, and I spoke even less Khmer! But it’s astounding the depths that a smile can say.

The shelter at Hagar, which these girls now call home, reaches out to the poorest and most destitute women and girls in Cambodia. This children’s shelter is only one facet of their remarkable programs and business initiatives. The girls are put through intensive schooling, two grades in a year, so that they leave with a full education. For as dark as their pasts are, it’s difficult to realize that these girls will end up leagues ahead of their Cambodian peers with the care they now receive. Today, they are the blessed ones.

Hagar offers holistic aftercare. As the girls go through healing and counseling, study and play, they are also enriched in a wonderful Christian community. In a culture that’s left them believing the pain of this life is caused by bad karma of the last, the girls are welcomed into the reality that an everlasting Father desires to love and redeem them from the sins of a horrifically fallen world.

Before leaving with a thousand “God bless you!’s,” the girls I sat with told me their dreams for the future. One wanted to be a singer. The youngest, a hairdresser. The third, a doctor. And the fourth, when it reached her turn, jumped from her seat and ran to the next table. She came back with the warmest grin. “NGO,” she told me.

“That is just what I do!” my heart overflowed. “You will make this world a better place,” I told her, and I know without doubt that she will.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The adventure continues

We have safely arrived in Phnom Penh, the largest city in north-central Cambodia. The past four days in the southern city of Siem Reap were nothing short of remarkable.

Our trip has begun with such a solid base of cultural experience and integration. We are being exposed to all of the beauties and tragedies of modern Cambodian life. It has been less than a decade that the country has been free from the fear and devastation of continual war. In the 70's, a civil war debilitated the entire country -- what is called the Khmer Rouge genocide. Cambodians of the Khmer Rouge brutally killed the entire educated Cambodian class, and anyone critical of their political aims. Yesterday we visited a children's hospital, free to all, that prides itself on being a teaching and training center. After the devastation of the genocide, 40 doctors were left in the whole country. I can't even begin to imagine the state the of an entire country in that situation.

Lauren describes this history so well!

"Pol Pot's regime wiped out 2 million Cambodian people--the educated were targeted, while children were used as spies, soldiers, and sex slaves. Because so many of the older generation were killed, more than 50% of the current Cambodian people are under 18 years old. The Khmer Rouge really did an excelled job crippling the nation--murdering professors, teachers, doctors, and anyone else with any education. It would be hard enough to recover from years of war, but a regime that only left children, the poor, and the uneducated? The horrors of the Khmer Rouge aren't even really taught in school and it's still not ok to talk openly about the horrors of the Khmer Rouge, because, as our guides have told us, you don't even know if your neighbor was former Khmer Rouge."

Today, it's difficult for many of the people - especially in rural areas - to live beyond today. We are so focused on the future, for ourselves and our children, in the US. When the adults are only thinking of whether they'll make it to tomorrow, the situation in debilitating.

I have been astounded by the rich culture, traditions and history here. One of the highlights our first day was visiting one of the Seven Wonders of the World -- Angkor Wat (built in the 12th c). In a single day we visited four elaborate temples. The local claim-to-fame is Angelina Jolie's stint at the temples to film "Tomb Raider."

As I desperately need to head to bed, just a few crazy highlights....!


Playing with wild monkeys on the roadside, eating large spindly BBQ'd crickets in the countryside, riding in tuk-tuks, fruit parties on the bus, seeing a floating village (all houses literally floating!) with locals that would paddle up to our boat carrying sodas for sale and humongous snakes, herds of crocodiles kept under a floating restaurant, wild marketplaces, a woman with tarantulas on her shirt (just for attention's sake!), traditional Khmer dance performances, and the best moment of all...being caught a tropical thunderstorm and getting lost in the middle of the most beautiful, exotic temple ruins I've ever seen.


It's nearing midnight here. I'm sitting in the hotel lobby in Phnom Penh, watching beautiful Asian women escort men from the elevator out to the ominous red glow of the brothel across the street. The sign outside offers room stays as cheap as $5. As we move further into our time here, the reality of the sex industry is going to become more and more of . . . a reality. Being so near to it simultaneously fills me with rage, and breaks my heart.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

En route


Traveling to Cambodia was intense! So fun, but wow was it LONG. I think...25 hours...maybe more! We went from LAX across the Pacific on China Airlines to Taipei, Taiwan. I've trained myself to not be much of a napper, which does NOT come in handy on 15 hour flights. Even with Tylenol PM and the blow-up neck pillows we bought!

Our flight out was delayed several hours leaving LAX, so we landed in Taiwan with 10 minutes to make our connection. We took off running, only to be ushered to a new plane headed to Hong Kong (we were supposed to go to Bangkok). As an aside, the landscape in China is gorgeous! I so badly want to go back!! Traveling is such a bug....

Getting off in Hong Kong, the attendants slapped bright pink stickers on us and lead us all throughout the airport until we were at a plane headed to Thailand (woo hoo!). Bangkok's airport was just about the nicest I've seen! Like a luxury shopping mall, and completely crowd-free. The three of us met Jaclyn in the airport, who had made friends with a local Cambodian. His entire family was killed by the Khmer Rouge (national genocide in the 70's) and he was kept as a child spy. Such a story (we'll be learning more about this throughout the trip).

On to Siem Reap, Cambodia!!

Our hotel is AMAZING. It's called the Lotus Lodge, and is owned by a dutchman named Andre who moved here and fell in love with Lily, a native Cambodian and our wonderful tour guide! They operate the hotel together, and all the workers are locals. We feel so at home here!! There is a view of Angkor Wat temple from the water tower, and geckos in that hang out in our rooms! We are in the heart of Siem Reap, and feel so immersed in the culture.

I love this little boys expression towards Lauren....!

Oops...I did it again!

Oh my goodness, where ever to begin???

The last few days have been the most incredible whirlwind! Best to begin at the beginning...

Dj was so sweet to offer to drive us to the airport...and COMPLETELY surprised me when a LIMO pulled up outside his house!! Talk about an amazing guy. Made it all that much more difficult to say goodbye!

Lauren and Morgan will be joining me for five days in Thailand after Cambodia, so we managed to book our flights together and headed down, rockstar style, from SB. Things were going SO smoothly...TOO smoothly. Nearing the airport, our conversation casually moved to passports, and the atrocity of forgetting them. I'm laughing and starting to tell my infamous Nicaragua passport-forgetting story (I'll write about it someday...it's bad...) when all of a sudden my stomach drops. NOOOOOOO!!!!!!

"My passport's in the scanner in Crystal's apartment."

Yes. In my effort to go above and beyond and make passport copies for everyone I knew pre-departure, I rushed off with loads of xeroxs and not a single real passport.

Praise the Lord for AMAZING friends. I called Tricia (my beautiful roommate!) and told her my predicament in one horrified single sentence. "Well, that's too bad for you," she said, and then hung up.

=) I'm just kidding. Her immediate response was "What can I do???" And drove my passport ALL the way down to LAX. Keving copiloted, and I am forever indebted!! They left the airport with tons of treats, and me with a scolding. Ay yi yi, I still cannot believe I did that!!! Dj and my friends give me WAY more grace than I deserve!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

R&R in San Diego


I can't believe graduation is through! It was strange to go through, having already been out for several months. It was such a symbolic experience, really an official closing to this chapter of life. It was been such an incredible blessing to be a part of this close-knit Westmont community, and I was continually reminded of that seeing the friendships and reliving the memories of our class.

It was so fun to have my parents and brother in town, as well as my godparents from Santa Cruz! After Baccalaureate we had such a lovely dinner at Stella Mare's, this gorgeous shabby-chic Montecito-esque restaurant. My beautiful friend Christie came along for dinner too - so fun! By the end of the night I thought graduation was done....I couldn't believe I had a whole 'nother day of graduating ahead. I was on Typhoid pills all weekend, prepping for Cambodia!, and I think they wiped me out! (I slept for 6 hours after the ceremony on Saturday afternoon -- not the typical post-grad celebration!). I couldn't believe how tired I was!

Monday though the real R&R came! My roommates Brooke & Tricia and I roadtripped down to stay in San Diego at Brooke's parents beach condo -- our official graduation get away!
There is so much going on with Not For Sale (and getting ready for Cambodia!) that I couldn't really take the time away -- so I'm getting up early and sending the girls off for pedicures to fit in the regular emailing!

It has been such a blast to be out of Santa Barbara, and taking each day as it comes. We've had shopping excursions, brunch at the club, dinner with Brooke's family, a run along the cliffs, an interesting downtown excursion, and lots of exploring the darling streets of La Jolla.

Brooke has been prepping for matrimony with her summer reading, and Tricia has been perfecting her DJ free-style-shooting techniques.


A definite highlight was a visit to Grandma Harper's! Her and Brooke's grandpa had just returned from a four month cruise around the world, and she dressed us up in all her outfits - too fun! Jessi, my freshman year roommate, just got her with her husband and the "san diego crew" - so we're off to dinner!